Every day, every hour, every moment is a choice of how you will spend your time. One cannot make a new choice without impacting others.
“The little moments are not little, they are your life.” ~Jon Kabbat Zinn
I have a friend who is unhappy in her job. In an effort to save money, her company has placed more and more responsibilities on each person, thus spreading each individual’s time and energy thin. Not to mention, over the years, the company has set it up so that everyone is on call 24/7. She was jolted into awareness when commiserating with a colleague and the phrase was used, “But we’re all in this together.” As in, “I can suffer because I know every one else is too.”
In day-to-day life, it’s easy to get caught up in routine, deadlines, expectations, and the status quo. But here’s the thing: It’s only the status quo while we allow it to be. If even one person chooses to set new boundaries on their time, the energy has shifted. If even one person chooses to create a different pattern, the entire universe is impacted. If even one person refuses to do something that doesn’t align with their soul, the impact is immediate and infinite.
By setting realistic boundaries, you are stating that your time, your health, and your personal well-being are important. This reflects back to the other person that you value yourself. All that person can do is step back and discover one or both of two things:
1.) They are not valuing you.
2.) They too are not valuing themselves.
In a society where being busy and overworked is often seen as a badge of honor, I challenge you to stop. Just stop. Say no. Even if you fear it will upset others. Even if you fear it might jeopardize your status. Even if you fear it might risk your job. Because you cannot serve others and you cannot work in an environment that is not in alignment with your soul without losing part of your light each and every day.
It is common place for people to say, “Back to the grind.” As if work is supposed to be grinding? It is socially accepted to complain about your boss or coworkers. As if everyone shouldn’t feel respected, heard, and valued?
What would happen if you just stopped?
At first the idea of losing your job, or your chance at a promotion, or your relationship with a boss or coworker, or your reputation is terrifying. But consider for a moment why you are saying no. Consider why you are setting boundaries. It is because you are miserable. It is because you do not feel valued. It is because you are stressed, out of time, overwhelmed, unhappy, dying inside. You need time to care for yourself! And no one need ever apologize for self care.
Ultimately, if setting boundaries or taking a stand for your own welfare is upsetting to those around you, this is probably a toxic, unsustainable environment anyway. Studies show how stress impact our brains and our health. <FIND STUDY HERE> You can either allow your job and/or relationships to change, or you can be complicit in your accelerated death.
To be sure, it is easier to listen to the inner voice that tells you to “stay put,” “don’t rock the boat,” “something is better than nothing.” But every time you make a shift toward your truth, your health, or your core knowledge of what is best for you, you are actually creating a better universe for everyone.
Every thing that exists in the universe – absolutely EVERY THING infinitely imaginable – is already here. So if it is love you seek, send it out into the universe. (Ask for that time off. Get out of that toxic relationship. Speak up for your needs.) Thus transforming the negative, useless energy of loneliness, exhaustion, or isolation into the positive and useful light of love.
Is it really that simple?
Yes. It’s science.