Freewriting. Sex. Freedom. Understanding life is beautiful. Inside water. When you start the doors are opened and they can never be closed. Once upon a time… into darkness and back through to forever. And tired. And journey with lovers. Together in peace. The world is wonderful. Air. Breath. Life. Dance to unlock the universe of ideas. Cannot. Stuck again. But never again. The universe speaks and I do not force.
Alone in time with no regrets but anxiety and fear are blocking my flow – toward what? I don’t know. But I’m searching, free falling, running to stand still. One infuriates me. Another scares me. Who am I? Where am I going? Who will love me if I cannot find myself to love? I write but I hide. I sleep too much. For what purpose? To avoid. To protect myself from failure. I run toward nowhere. I run away from everything. To trust is a foreign concept. Safety is a foreign word. What is safe? Who is safe? I am empty of life, but I am full of words. I am lost in life, but I am active in mind. Who is to say what is good/better/best? Does money dictate my fate? Does worldly success create my salvation? What are the consequences if I choose to let go? Let go for real. Let go and let God. For once in my life not plan or worry or protect. But just let go.
She sees light in the darkest vacuum. She invites others to open their eyes too. Her beauty shines in her smile and grace, but her attractiveness is the sensitivity and courage within. When others choose to give up or give in, she stands up and fights – or loves – when she has to. She opens her heart to many and forgives as though mistakes were her own. She sings into her hairbrush, dances in the bedroom, and practices conversations in the mirror with equal joy and shamelessness. She studies and reads as though information were food. She shares what she learns as though knowledge was water. She is a lover though she has no partner. She is a mother though she has no children. Humanity are her students and the world is her classroom. She is a teacher.